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How to guilt someone into buying your house

March 9, 2011  —  Written by Julia 

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If you are selling your home yourself and someone wants to come see it, set the appointment quickly and then confirm it with their realtor.  Then double confirm it the day of.  Have your car running, but never leave without shaking the potential buyers’ hands.  Put on a nice friendly smile and tell them how cute their daughter is.  Then skip out the door.  Make sure your house not only LOOKS squeaky clean, but also smells clean.  Maybe the super shag carpets are even damp from being shampooed earlier.  Leave no doubt in their minds, you have spent all day cleaning the house deeper than they have EVER cleaned.  The beds are made in every room and all of the lamps are on making your house glow and feel warm even when it is sleeting outside.  The countertops aren’t new, but they are clear.  The basement has mismatched carpet, but it is dust-bunny free.  The weird-shaped room in the farthest corner of the downstairs has the coolest light fixture in it.  Even if the closets don’t have doors, leave the curtain pulled over so they can see how you have organized even the hidden stuff for them.  And when their realtor tells you they weren’t that interested because your house only has one bathroom, email her back saying you can fix that or leave all the supplies to fix it.  Don’t take no for an answer!

(yes, this is true.  no, we aren’t really going to buy this house.  yes, I feel incredibly guilty not buying it.)

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