Barbecued Chicken Lettuce Wraps

All right, here's a quick one for ya. And, as promised, it's a bit on the lighter side (as opposed to the ribs and chicken wings this week). Barbecued chicken lettuce wraps (enough for 2 people - multiply as needed). That's right, lettuce wraps don't have to be Asian. Let's go.

2 Boneless, skinless chicken thighs
Light Olive Oil (not extra virgin)
Salt, Pepper, Ancho Chili Powder, Garlic Powder, Dried Oregano
1 Head iceberg lettuce (made into cups)
4 Strips of bacon, cooked and chopped
2 Green onions, chopped
1 Tomato, sliced
1/2 Cup purple cabbage, shredded (can use green, but purple looks better)
Blue Cheese - subjective. Use however much you want. Or use cheddar if you're not a blue cheese fan
1/3 Red bell pepper, small dice
Cilantro
This barbecue sauce

Quick gluten-free note about blue cheese. Traditionally, blue cheese has been made using bread mold, and therefore is historically a no-no for gluten-free eaters. Fortunately, many blue cheeses today are made with cultures other than bread mold and are gluten-free. But, you make the call. If it makes you sick, don't risk it. Moving on.

For the chicken, I put a little oil on it, season with the spices listed (salt, pepper, ancho powder, garlic powder, dried oregano) and cook it in a grill pan. You can cook it on a regular grill, or in a regular pan. Grill flavor will be best, but the important thing is to just get it cooked.

Once the chicken is cooked, chop it up, put it in a bowl, add some of the barbecue sauce, and toss to coat. Now, lay out all your ingredients and start assembling.

Order of assembly doesn't matter so much. I do suggest putting the chicken on bottom and cilantro on top so it doesn't wilt from the heat of the chicken, but other than that, go nuts. Finished product:

You may be thinking, "Chris, how is that different from a barbecue chicken salad?" Answer- it's not. At least not once it all reaches your stomach. But you eat your meal with your eyes before eating with your mouth, so do something different and put in a little more effort. You'll love the novelty of it and it tastes delicious.

So this memorial day weekend, give these bad boys a try. Again, if you don't have my barbecue sauce, use your own. Either way this is a great way to get a dude to eat a salad, without him thinking he's eating a salad. Cheers, folks. Have a great weekend.

Copy-Cat Whitewashed Coffee Table

I've been on the hunt for a coffee table for the living room since we sold our round collapsable one. We've been making due with our plant bench--but it looked a little silly and heavy for a coffee table.  I discovered West Elm's Box Frame coffee table and loved the airiness and simplicity, but $350 for a coffee table just wasn't in the budget right now, especially for something directly in Greta's path.  

So I hunted a little more and found the Dakota coffee table on Wayfair's site for, oh, $250 cheaper! 

There were a few differences to note between the two.  The Dakota was smaller by a couple inches and  obviously sported a yellow-wood top, while the Box Frame was whitewashed.  But the designs were nearly identical. Metal frames with wood tops. And then I thought, I am sure I can whitewash! I read in the description that the Dakota had a solid wood top, with "distinctive pine grain" which seemed like the perfect candidate for a good sanding. Clear cut decision--Dakota it is.

Before it arrived, we decided that we'd live with the "natural" (super-poly'd) wood for a little bit to make sure we definitely wanted to white wash it, but it only took one day, before we were sure.

That wood was yellow and wasn't jiving with anything else in the room, or house for that matter. 

Luckily, the transformation to mimic its more expensive long-lost cousin only took about an hour. I took the top outside and sanded it with my palm sander. 

After the dust settled, and was wiped away, I started white-washing. Errr, gray washing?  I used a really light gray (Benjamin Moore's Moonshine) leftover from the guest room watered down to about a 50/50 ratio. Because the wood was so yellow, I thought that going with a pure white would only make the end result look like a white-yellow, and the inspiration product had grayer tones. Moonshine worked great. 

I knew I wanted to be able to see some woodgrain, but I didn't want brushstrokes everywhere. So first I layered on some paint, keeping with the grain of the wood. 

Then I'd wait a minute or two and lightly wipe off excess with a paper towel and let the rest dry for about 10 minutes.

I ended up repeating the process four times until the layers of gray wash built up to an opacity I was happy with, which happened to be this:

The woodgrain is still definitely visible, especially those knots (score!) but the yellow wood is now just a memory. I finished it with a thin layer of poly to protect the paint job.

Greta insisted on laying under the table, her new favorite spot, while I snapped most of the after photos, so it's quite surprising she only made into 2 out of 4 here. 

We think the result is pretty close to the West Elm version.  Which means, if you can whitewash, you can save $250.  And let me tell you, you can whitewash.

An Experience in Exterior Fixtures

Some projects are just laughable.  This was one such project. As a part of our exterior makeover (that has been severely thwarted from rain, rain and more rain) we wanted to switch out our back patio light. You can kind of see the old one in this picture from when we stained the patio.  Squint.

It's teeny.  That's a standard lightbulb and the glass is basically hugging it.  So, maybe 5" square max?  

We wanted a fixture that was larger, and had a pop of color. And since we are crushing on navy right now, this one from Rejuvenation fit the bill perfectly.  This is where it starts getting funny.  We took off the old fixture and the hole was filled with yellow jacket nests. Hilarious?

Sometimes when things that involve bugs, spiders, or one time a toad--long prank story, grrr--and our house I get this overwhelming feeling that, "We can't live here!"  I am a big-time wuss.  These feelings came flooding in when I saw those hives. Must. Leave. Luckily they were abandoned, and we have pest control (for sure!) but still.  What a terrible joke.

After Chris coaxed me to come back outside, installing the new fixture was easy-peasy.  Turned off the power, installed the new mounting bracket and all the wires matched up perfectly.  There wasn't a random purple wire that left us scratching our heads.  All very straightforward.

And, voila!  Isn't Carson a beaut?!

But, there's one more detail that has us laughing our heads off.

It is so short, it's comical.  The hole is placed pretty low to begin with, and the larger fixture definitely brings a lot more attention to that fact, but we also didn't account for the down-turning fixture when we decided on it.  Oops. Ha...ha..ha! After we finished laughing (really), we decided we truly love the light, and want to make it work. So rather than exchange it, we'll rearrange some siding and electrical work, which will surely be a lot more challenging than just rearrange this and that, and raise it to a proper height.

Besides the height factor, we're smitten. That navy is the perfect amount of color and the spring board for the rest of the patio decor.


A special thanks to Rejuvenation for partnering with us for this project. 

Tender Barbecued Ribs, Made in the Oven

These are not the world's greatest ribs. Is that a strange way to start? Let me explain. I'm convinced that the best way to cook ribs is for about 3 hours at 225 in a smoker (depending on the type of rib, with a proper rub and stuff). Do I own a smoker? You bet I do. I love it. Love. It. Can't say enough how much I love cooking in my smoker. Do you have a smoker? Chances are, probably not. Also, cleaning my smoker is a huge pain that I'm not usually willing to go through unless we have a crowd coming over. It's for this reason I created this recipe - it doesn't need a smoker. And, bonus, it's still incredible. So, even though they may not be the world's greatest ribs, they just might be the world's greatest ribs cooked in an oven. Maybe? Here's what you need:

Heavy Duty Aluminum Foil
Pork Ribs
1 Onion for each rack of ribs you're cooking (1/2 onion if doing baby back ribs)
2 Apples for each rack of ribs
Garlic powder
Cinnamon
Ancho Chili Powder (I cook with this a lot)
Cumin
Salt
Black Pepper
This Barbecue Sauce

My favorite rib is the St. Louis style. Unfortunately my grocer ran out so I went with a slab of spare ribs (my second favorite). St. Louis are just spare ribs that have had the extra meat trimmed off and the ribs cut evenly. You could also do baby backs, though you would drop the cooking temp about 15 degrees and cut the cooking time by maybe 45 minutes (less meat, doesn't need as much time). But whatever type of rib you choose, one thing I always suggest is to remove the silver skin on the bony side of the ribs. Some people leave it on, but I find it terribly unappealing. If you try to pull them off with your bare hands, you'll have a heck-uv-a time, as those things are super slimy. The best way to do it is to grab the silver skin with a paper towel and just pull at it until it comes off. If you miss little tiny pieces don't stress out about it - just do the best you can. Like so:

Once you have the silver skin off, set to work on making your packets. Think of it as a giant tin foil dinner (which, now that I think about it, this would make awesome camping food). Assemble like so:

Two layers of tin foil on the bottom, and make them long enough to extend 4-6 inches on either side of the ribs when the ribs are laid on top of them. If using regular aluminum foil instead of heavy duty, maybe do 3 layers. The extra layer(s) will protect from your oven rack ripping the tin foil and spilling liquid all over the place. Cut up an entire onion and spread it around on the bottom. Drizzle with a little extra virgin olive oil (low heat cooking method, so it's ok), place the ribs on top of the onion, sprinkle with your seasonings (only put a tiny bit of cinnamon --we don't want people to say, "Hey that's cinnamon in there!" We want them to say, "I know that flavor...what is that?"--, then place the cut up apples on top of the ribs. You do it this way because: A- being surrounded with onion and apple will infuse the meat with flavor, and B- if there's any burning going on, the onion and apple will take the brunt of it and protect your meat. Place one more layer of tin foil on top of it all, and start folding up the corners, crimping and creating a tight seal.

And in the oven it goes, 315 degrees for 3.5 hours (2.5 or so with baby backs).

I made two racks. What? We had company. I'm serious, we had company.

After 3.5 hours, take the ribs out and carefully open the packet by unfolding the edges and lifting the top off. Watch out for the steam - it'll getcha. Using a pair of tongs, remove the apple slices from the top of the ribs, and carefully transfer the ribs onto a baking sheet, meaty side down. Then, using the tongs, remove the onion pieces. Just discard the apples, onions and tin foil packet. They've served their purpose. Now I like my ribs sauced, and unlike my chicken wings, I like to cook my sauce a little after I put it on the ribs. My preference is to do this on the grill and get a nice char, but the broiler in the oven does a great job too, and that's how I did it this time. So put some sauce on the bony side, then put it under your broiler for a few minutes until it starts to caramelize. Then flip the ribs over, sauce the meaty side and stick it under the broiler, again until it starts to caramelize. Careful not to let the sugars burn too much - it'll taste bitter.

Remove from the oven, cut them up, pour some more sauce on if you like, and get eatin'!

Remember, NOBODY stays clean eating ribs - they're like, the great equalizer. So dig in and embrace the fact that, with these ribs, the biggest mess you'll need to clean up is the one on your face.

PS. - For you healthier folk, worry not. I have some awesome barbecue chicken lettuce wraps that I'll share on Friday. Cheers.