I’ve struggled to know when or where or how to share that I’ve been struggling. Because I don’t want this space to be about that. I want to talk about easy things like fall decor or picking an exterior paint color (okay, that’s kind of hard), or even controversial things like faux plants. Ha! But does talking about real things and hard things have a place here? I hope so for just today.
My health has taken a turn for the worse. 6 years ago, after trying to conceive our second child for a couple years, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. It’s an autoimmune disease which attacks your thyroid and in my case, has caused a pretty severe case of hypothyroidism. I’ve taken thyroid hormone replacement medication every morning since, drastically changed my diet, exercise every morning and for the most part, have lived a pretty normal life.
But the last few months I haven’t felt normal. It started with my inability to get warm–wearing fleece sweaters in 80 degree weather. And then falling asleep at 7:30. My skin hurts and all the hair I lost after Polly has struggled to come back in (I’ve worn these clip-in extensions to fill it in for the better part of this year). I feel nauseous most evenings. Writing an instagram post feels incredibly daunting and hard. I feel unmotivated (which, I can’t express enough is the total opposite of the normal me) and I would find myself just crying for no reason. Sometimes the exhaustion is so extreme, I feel like I am wearing a weighted vest by the afternoon. Chris encouraged me to get more bloodwork done because he thought I could be having a Hashimoto’s flare up. The results showed just that. Even on daily medication, my thyroid is really struggling. My TSH levels were elevated and in a backwards way, I felt relieved. Like, whew! I feel so terrible for a reason! My doctor prescribed me an additional medication to take on top of my normal thyroid medicine that is supposed to be like an adrenaline shot to my thyroid. She said to take it first thing in the morning because if not, I could be up all night with energy. Unfortunately, I’m still waiting for the energy to come. I’m still hoping this is the answer.
I don’t share this for pity or for sympathy sake or for advice–I’m in really good hands. Just because so many times over the last few months, I’ve been complimented on social media for “having it all” or “doing it all”. Or told how my life seemed so perfect. Please know that everyone has struggles. No one’s life is perfect. I think we’re all just trying to put our best foot forward. But maybe we should talk more about the times when we just can’t seem to find a good foot.
We’ve made the decision, after 8 years of throwing a big Halloween party–this year, we’re taking a break. We’ve hired help with running Propertee, which we can’t thank you enough for supporting. I’ve had to take a few steps back on Instagram and if I can’t post one day–to be okay with that. And instead of feeling inadequate when everyone else is doing so many wonderful, exciting things, be happy for them and happy for me that I’m doing what I need to do to get back to a good, healthy place.
We have a couple posts planned for next week, but we’ll be taking some time off to spend with family. Thank you for always being here and being so lovely.