Let’s talk about what keeps us bloggers going–commenting. 5.8 times a week (that’s how many times I post according to Google) I put words and pictures out there in the blogosphere and then I look forward to feedback. Sometimes there is a lot of feedback, and then sometimes when I write about things that are small and relatively boring, like moving our mattress up, we receive less comments. It’s cool. There’s not much to say about moving a mattress up. Unless we fell through it–I’m sure that would receive an overwhelming response. Especially if there was an action shot included.
Hey [Lisa],
I commented on your blog post today about “[Up and Up]” and how it was very similar to [Very Popular Blog’s] “[One Upped.]” I went on to say “Round and round we go, us bloggers.” My comment was simply stating how in the blogging world it seems there are very few truly original ideas, but rather ideas executed differently–perhaps even at different levels. I was shocked to see my comment deleted. I hope you didn’t take offense, but even if you did–I would be really interested to hear your thoughts on comment deletion, and what qualifies for it on your blog.
As a DIY/design blogger myself, I encourage my readers to comment whether they like it or would leave it. I think publicly blogging is a great way to open up communication between readers and writers, to share ideas, to critique–even if all of the communication or comments aren’t exploding with bubbly praise. I would love to hear your thoughts on this as I have fallen victim to what would obviously be grounds for deletion according to you.
Dish, sister.
-Julia
http://chrislovesjulia.blogspot.com/
I receive the following response:
Hey Julia!
Thanks for your email! I am glad that I have the chance to tell you why! I did delete your comment but it wasnt because I dont want differing view point on my blog. I actually rarely delete comment on my projects or posts but because it was more directed to [Krissy] than me that is why I deleted it. She is one of my best friends and I didnt want her to see it and feel bad. To be honest I am not sure why you felt the need to leave it, obviously when we live in a world where we are so interconnected you will see the same thing a lot of different ways. I thought that by leaving that comment you were assuming that [Krissy] got the idea from [Lori], which she did not seeing as how she has done it more that just this year. I think that there is plenty of criticism in this world and although negative comments dont hurt my feelings, they do hurt many peoples. One thing that I see often in this online world is things being taken differently than they were meant because things are read a million different ways. If that is the case I am sorry for deleting your comment. I honestly have no hard feelings and actually really like your blog, you are super talented (I LOVE your painting that you just did that was the melty chevrony piece!) I hope that you can understand where I am coming from!
Although I am glad things were worked out, it did get me wondering about our own blog. Would I ever delete a comment? Chris and I have talked about it and have concluded if it is spam, crass or inappropriate for our parents’ eyes, then yes. This is only DIYing, so I can’t really imagine how any of that would come into play, but we’re just covering our bases. We really want this to be a place where you can share your ideas and thoughts. Whether praise or constructive criticism.
When I asked a few friends and family member’s their thoughts on deleting comments in blogging, here is some of the responses:
As someone in publishing, I don’t think any of the comments should be deleted. All feedback should be handled constructively. I say, use it as an opportunity to help your readers get to know you better.
If you are going to post online and leave things open to discussion, you need to try to be open-minded and listen. It gives the writer, as well as the reader, a chance to grow.
It’s still the right of a blogger. And necessary in some cases. I think we all expect our reasonable comments to appear once we hit submit, but it’s always possible they won’t.
In my mind it comes down to severity. If the comment is severely negative and or over the top, then I can see a case for deletion. But the blog owner also must recognize than they will lose credibility in the process and feel that even though they will come across as fraudulent due to the severity of the comment it must be done.
Publish. Publish. Publish. It’s what it’s all about. I’ve had my comments deleted from peoples blogs before. And it really makes both my comment and my reading AND the blog/author of blog seem invalid. Block all or none.
Now it is your turn to weigh in. What constitutes a deleted comment for your blog or, in your opinion? Did I step over the line? Should all bloggers take Drawing 110 before publishing a post? *wink*
I came here from your comment on a similar discussion at YHL. I’m not a blogger nor registered as a “member/follower” of any blogs but do comment occasionally. How others participating in a discussion, in blogdom or IRL, perceive the tone and intent of critical comments and responses to them can be an issue, as I discovered while taking professional classes in landscape design. The instructor, who was pretty intimidating (M.A. in Landscape Architecture from Harvard, successful LA), was adamently opposed to a plant selection in one of my designs. I responded to his critique politely but assertively, defending my choice. I didn’t realize until talking with fellow students later that they felt very uncomfortable when he “attacked” me, while I hadn’t taken it that way at all. And we all know that anonymity makes many people less inhibited in pressing opposing viewpoints then they would be face-to-face.
I wouldn’t take the comment you made on “Lisa’s” blog as out-of-turn but perhaps some folks might. As others have pointed out there may have been sensitivity to appearing to call out a project as lacking originality — though most of us realize there’s nothing new under the sun . . . .
After reading the blogger’s response, I understood that my comment was taken as catty and unnecessary just as you suggested. Even if it wasn’t my intention. I get it. That was a bummer because I respect the blogger–but I am glad that the air has been cleared and she knows that.
This post was simply to outline what we accept and what we won’t tolerate as bloggers. We have never done that and after having my first experience with having a comment deleted (the situation outlined above), it made for a perfect opportunity to open a discussion with Chris and relay our decision to our readers out there. I don’t think our way is the only way or even the right way for every blogger–but it’s just what we have decided to do.
I respect the blogger for sticking up for her friend. It shows she is a loyal friend and caring. For her, that relationship was important than my light-hearted comment–and I am 100% down with that.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and expertise, Tauni! I think integrating our comment policy somewhere “sticky” is a great idea.
I hopped over to your site while working on some event-related items and read your post. As a social media consultant, I advise companies and individuals on topics such as commenting policies daily. I applaud you for talking to Chris about what comments you would and wouldn’t accept on your blog. It sounds like you’ve come to an agreement on what’s acceptable on your site and encourage you to post it in a “sticky” spot.
Every site is personal and every comment policy is individual. It’s up to the site owner to determine what’s acceptable in their space. Just because a comment is deleted doesn’t mean the blogger is closed minded or that they cannot accept criticism.
I completely disagree with the statements your family and friends shared suggesting that commenting should be a completely open free for all.
They way you’ve presented the scenario above leads me to believe you feel the blogger handled the situation inappropriately. Personally, I probably would have done the same thing.
Though I am open to constructive criticism and I’ve been subject to any number of negative comments that I’ve chosen to leave up, I am far more sensitive to those who guest post on my site.
Your comment may have been made light-heartedly, but I can also see how it could have been perceived as catty and unnecessary by the blog owner too.
I think the blogger totally copped out of the real reason they deleted your post. They didn’t want people to know that they were “inspired” by another blog. It issimple as copyright infringement. I personally thought it was interesting to bring up the similarities in posts and make a “it’s a small world even on the internet” type of comment, instead this person tried to hide the fact and make you think you were in the wrong for thinking that way or bring it up.
“To be honest I am not sure why you felt the need to leave it, obviously when we live in a world where we are so interconnected you will see the same thing a lot of different ways”
Anytime you use the word “obviously” after you question someones line of thinking, you are basically saying “shut up, I’m right”
My advice, don’t think you are getting original thoughts from that blog and definitely take all the positive comment with a bucket of salt.
i loved this post. i was actually just thinking yesterday how our society tends to take things offensively a little too easily. especially about trivial things, like a comment that had NO bad intentions. and for reals, your comment could have even been construed as a compliment that she somewhat replicated something so similarly to another DIYer. we all need to take things in stride and realize not everyone is going to think or say the same things. unless it is TRULY personal, there is no reason to MAKE it personal.